You can actually learn to be confident

Gaining confidence: 7 easy ways

It is easy to be hard on yourself: You know your own weaknesses, focus on them and suppress the positive aspects of yourself. It's only a matter of time before that Self-confidence suffer from. An effect that is also intensified. Because over time this not only stresses the psyche, but also worsens the image that others have of you. So that it doesn't get that far in the first place, we have 7 simple ways to increase your self-confidence ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Confidence definition: what is it?

It is not always entirely clear what exactly is under that Concept of self-confidence is to be understood. Often times, different expressions are used interchangeably with confident, although this is not entirely correct.

Self-confidence or self-esteem go in a similar direction, but still differ from the definition of self-confidence.

Basically, self-confidence means that Ability to act and act in social contact in such a way that one's own needs and rights are satisfied - but without restricting other people at the same time.

For example, it is not about how a person perceives himself, as is the case with self-confidence, but about social competence and the associated skills Need to know your own needsto address and also to enforce.

Low self-confidence works both internally and externally

A lack of self-confidence is often evident in the behavior of those affected: They withdraw or try to please everyone or avoid sources of error and risks wherever possible. Behind it are often Fears of failure or the fear of social rejection.

Here it is no longer about the own needs mentioned in the definition, but only about not offending. Motto: Duck your head and hope that hardly anyone will notice you. At the same time, you always put yourself in the background, make yourself a minor matter and give up any chance to achieve your own goals or to help shape the contact according to your own ideas.

The other extreme is also possible: The lack of self-confidence should be played over, which leads to the outside world particularly hard and unapproachable image built up becomes. Anyone who pretends not to mind is trying to hide what really affects them.

But contrary to what was hoped for, a lack of self-confidence affects the outside world anything but inconspicuous. Quite the opposite: Most people have sensitive antennae for interlocutors who are insecure and do not meet you at eye level. Likewise, most people immediately recognize when they are dealing with a confident personality, which often creates respect.

In fact, there are a few that are particularly noticeable Behavior patternsassociated with low self-confidence:

  • Body language

    Tuck your head in to make yourself smaller, avoid eye contact with the person you are speaking to or fidget nervously and awkwardly with your hands. All these features of body language and small gestures are mostly carried out unconsciously, but consciously as Signs of a lack of self-confidence perceived. Therefore, pay more attention to how you are performing - especially to such micro-gestures.

    As a reference, you can simply observe yourself here: Which movements and signs do you interpret as insecurity in your counterpart? You can then work specifically on these points yourself. It does take a little practice, however the more you practice confident demeanor, the easier and more natural it becomes.

  • approval

    If you always just say yes to everything, that doesn't necessarily make you more personable. Unfortunately, this is a widespread mistake. What is certain, however, is that if you just say yes and amen, you will be less respected. You can't always agree with everyone, but it takes courage to disagree. Anyone who is afraid of their own courage, never says no and never stands up for their opinion is hardly perceived as self-confident. Allegedly from Franz Josef Strauss comes the nice bon mot: "Anyone who only tries to be everybody’s darling will soon be everybody’s asshole."

    Also, remember: If you please everyone else, you will forget about yourself. A willingness to compromise is an important quality, but you should know what is important to you and be able to stand up for these things.

  • Reluctance

    Never having to speak in meetings or sitting alone at a table during the lunch break? That may still pass as a special form of modesty. But it doesn't look like great self-confidence and gray eminence. Such colleagues are more likely to be blown around by the Touch of the gray mouse.

    This also applies in particular to discussions. Whoever only takes on the role of the neutral observer, stays out of everything and in the end simply agrees with the result, shows no self-confidence, but a lack of backbone.

Signs of a lack of self-confidence

Not only does it look outward noticeable lack of self-confidenceYou can notice it yourself in many situations. There are countless other scenarios, we have selected some of the most common and listed them as examples:

  • You feel uncomfortable and unsafe when you meet new people.
  • You find it difficult to express your opinion.
  • You always blame yourself first.
  • It is difficult to accept praise and encouragement from others.
  • You are constantly afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of others, even when there is no reason to do so.
  • You cannot prevail.

With classic signs like these, you can Also subject your self-confidence to a test and find out how they are doing. Consciously review and reflect on how you react in certain situations.

Do you keep finding that you'd rather keep your opinion quiet than risk a confrontation? Or do negotiations and discussions never end the way you imagined?

These clues accumulate, there are some indications that you should do something to gain more confidence.

Training self-confidence: 7 simple ways to increase self-confidence

Now, low self-confidence has the quality of reinforcing itself. Once started, your self-confidence continues to suffer, you withdraw more and more and feel additionally confirmed in your own insecurity. These It is therefore necessary to break through the downward spiral first. Tips in the sense of “approach your fellow human beings” are useful, but often difficult to implement for those affected. At least in the first step. But there is another way and, above all, easier:

  1. Don't compare yourself to the wrong ones

    Comparing yourself to other people is completely normal and also necessary for a complete self-image. After all, you want to know where you stand and what other people might do differently. However, it is a mistake to compare yourself to the wrong person: to people who are more successful but have different values; or with unattainable ideals that just make you feel small.

    Either you are making too many compromises, or you are Your self-confidence will be lost for goodbecause you start to feel like you are not good enough. Instead, focus on yourself instead of just looking outside.

  2. Make yourself aware of the causes

    This is a big step towards more self-confidence Root cause research. Ask critically in which situations you are particularly insecure. What are the triggers and what exactly are you afraid of? The better you understand where your uncertainty is coming from, the better you can react to it.

    The next step is to find the Combat causes. Are you feeling uncomfortable with your body? Make a plan to change that. Do you lack self-confidence in certain situations? Face the fear and do something about it.

  3. Write down what you are proud of

    In order not to forget your own strengths but to keep reminding yourself of them, a List serve as an aid. To do this, write down everything that you are proud of or that you have already achieved in your life. That can be both professional and private.

    Then the next time you experience self-doubt, take a look at your list and be aware of your strengths.

  4. Influence your environment

    Not everywhere, but to a large extent you can determine for yourself which people you surround yourself with and how much time you devote to whom. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who not only notice that their counterpart is lacking in self-confidence, but also take advantage of it in a targeted manner.

    Identify these contacts and reduce handling. With this step you are finally addressing your own needs and developing more self-confidence.

  5. Smile more often - even for no reason

    It may seem strange at first, but smiling for no reason will actually help. Because the smile is not only a reaction to joy, but can also trigger it itself. Scientists have found that happiness hormones are released even if you smile for no reason, which increase your mood and have an anxiety-relieving effect.

    Around Overcoming fear and insecurity in the next meeting, therefore, a simple smile can help.

  6. Get more selfish

    Sounds negative at first, but it really does something to strengthen your self-confidence. You will probably find it difficult, especially at the beginning, but it will be good for you. In concrete terms: Make yourself aware of what you want and that you want others to respect these claims.
    Use different ones for this Exercises that you can use in appropriate situations: Demand the things that are due to you, do not allow yourself to be put off,

  7. Wear clothing that makes an impression

    Another way to become more confident is to wear your own clothes. Clothes make the man - that's not just a saying. On the one hand, you will feel better yourself in a high-quality suit or dress and appear accordingly different.

    On the other hand, people around you will also get a different picture of you right from the start. Nevertheless, of course, the following always applies: You should feel comfortable in your clothes. Otherwise the positive effect fizzles out again and it just looks like a disguise.

Self-confidence exercises: This is how it works with more self-confidence

There are also other promising paths, which, however, involve significantly more overcoming - especially for people who already have little self-confidence. However, the need to overcome yourself makes these tips particularly effective:

  • Consciously say no and do not allow yourself to be persuaded into something.
  • Go straight to new contacts and find the conversation.
  • Take responsibility for your actions
  • Train your voice to show self-confidence through your speech.
  • Own your views and take part in discussions.
  • Make a conscious effort to keep eye contact in conversations.
  • Draw more attention to yourself.
  • Keep jumping over your shadow and conquering your fears.
  • Accept criticism and rejection without feeling personally attacked.

These things are difficult for many people, but those who actually manage to jump over their shadows can learn that it is not that bad and quickly build up new self-confidence.

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[Photo credit: baranq by Shutterstock.com]
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4th November 2020Author: Nils Warkentin

Nils Warkentin studied business administration at the Justus Liebig University in Giessen. On the career bible, he is devoted to topics related to studies, career entry and everyday office life.

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