Someone masturbates to himself

How people satisfy themselves in relationships

Masturbation is part of being human like cheese is part of pizza. It works without it, but then it's not nearly as fun. And those who willingly forego pizza cheese are a little suspect anyway.

It is this high quality loneliness that cannot be replaced by any sex in the world: Your body and you are alone, you can do things with it that no one else has done or was allowed to do before. Nobody judges you, nobody makes you feel guilty. You can penetrate the darkest, most beautiful and dirtiest corners of your fantasies.

Also on

For the nofap community, not masturbating is the solution to everything

Yes, sex in partnerships ideally satisfies the libido and thus the frequency of fondling. But masturbation is still the icing on the cake in the world of pleasure. The website Beautiful Agony (unfortunately paid) shows how cool it feels. Users can upload videos of their faces (note: ONLY their faces!) During orgasm. It should show how honest and pleasurable the handwritten climax can be, and how this naturalness is reflected in the faces of the people to come.

Despite the advantages, it cannot be denied that masturbation behavior changes in relationships. But how exactly? We asked people who are currently in a relationship. Spoiler: Nobody stops being auto-erotic. Why should you?

Lotte, 28 years

When I'm in a relationship, it doesn't change how or how often I masturbate. At least as long as we don't live together. My ex moved in with me for a year. From then on I couldn't lend a hand myself - but I didn't have to because he was there. We talked openly, had a lot of sex, or sometimes did it in front of each other.

At the end of the relationship, the lust slowly thinned and once, when he was asleep, I did it myself. Beside him. In retrospect, I was unspeakably ashamed. It felt like betrayal and a lot dirtier than what I usually find masturbation to be. I don't live with my new boyfriend. Everyone still does it for themselves. I am curious whether I will get into such a situation again and whether I will behave differently.

Frauke, 28 years

Since I've been in a relationship, I've been doing it less, much less. Actually, my ideal is almost not to do it at all. Not for loyalty reasons or some nonsense. Simply because I prefer to save the sexual energy so that I can enjoy it together later. It's infinitely more beautiful, more exciting, more exciting, more interesting. Every now and then I do, but mostly when I know we won't be seeing each other for some time or if for some reason we won't be able to have sex for a few days.

Also on

Honestly, how much sex do you really have?

Then I prefer to do it at home in my bedroom. Actually, however, any reasonably private place is an option. If I'm extremely horny right now and really want to give in to the desire, then I also do a toilet at work, at university or visiting friends. I also like to do it in the shower, you can do some great things with the water jet. It even happened once in the swimming pool, among all the people. But then I was still a teen. Which doesn't mean I won't do it now.

The time of day also plays a role for me: Funnily enough, I'm particularly horny between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. Sometimes it hits me really badly and I feel like a helpless animal that cannot defend itself against its instincts. But that has only happened since I stopped taking the pill. Before that, I was pretty numb about sexual desire.

Sometimes I have sex dreams that can lead to orgasm without my having to touch myself. Of course it's more intense when I can use my hands. Over time, I even managed to wake myself up shortly before the climax in the dream, and then to lend a hand myself. A Game changer!

I talk about it openly with my boyfriend, but we don't masturbate together. For me, being alone is an important part of masturbation. When I'm intimate with myself, nobody else has lost anything.

I mostly think of invented or strangers. Mostly a couple, man and woman. Since I've been with my boyfriend, he has also played a fantasy role every now and then. This has never happened to me in previous relationships, he's the first. I don't use sex toys. My porn use doesn't change with or without a relationship. I watch them one way or another.

Jens, 27 years

Since I've been in a relationship, I've been masturbating a lot less. When I was single, I did it almost every day before falling asleep with internet porn in the bedroom. The relationship has made sex more and more regular, which naturally reduced masturbation. In the relationship, I occasionally masturbate after we haven't had sex for a few days. Then in the loo or in the shower because I don't want to masturbate next to my girlfriend. I would have the feeling that I wasn't showing her enough respect. There is no such thing as masturbating together, sex is much better. Even though I'm taken, I still watch porn on the net, but now on my phone and less often. I think of her partly, partly not. Every now and then I even look for women who look similar to my girlfriend in porn.

Tobias, 27 years

Since I have a boyfriend, I definitely masturbate a lot less than before. Especially since we moved in together. I'm almost never alone at home because he works from there. Some believe that in a relationship you don't have to masturbate anymore because you should be sexually satisfied. I don't think so. Masturbation is still something I like to do for myself. It might sound stupid, but why should I always make someone else happy instead of just me?

Now the thing is that I mostly cum alone when he goes to sleep early, goes out with friends or leaves the apartment early. It's definitely one of the first things I think of when I'm alone. Most of the time I do it with porn or I chat with other guys on some dating apps. But my friend knows about that.

When we are apart for a longer period, for example because one of us is on vacation, I often think of him. Not really in everyday life.

The topic itself is not taboo for us, but we also don't really talk about who masturbates and how often. If it comes up in conversation anyway, we don't hide it. Sometimes we masturbate to porn together, but that happens less and less.

Jacob, 26 years

In my relationship, I masturbate no less than I did before when I was single. Since I don't see my girlfriend every day, I don't have any fixed times. I can do it whenever I want. I masturbate every day, in exceptional cases there is a break of one to three days in between.

I've never masturbated in front of my girlfriend, or vice versa - because we have sex anyway when we see each other. We therefore have no shared masturbation experiences. I don't even talk to her about it. The topic has always remained one for me personally.

Nora, 26 years

I've never really been single since dating - I either had affairs or was in a relationship. Masturbating was always a part of it. I also do it in front of my boyfriend sometimes. He likes it. We also talked casually from the start about masturbating without the other person, it was never embarrassing. When we were in a long distance relationship, he would sometimes ask me to do it during our Skype video call. On the other hand, I don't find it particularly exciting to watch a man do it.

I prefer to do it when I'm actually alone or when he's already asleep and I can't sleep yet. It relaxes me. Since I started to work and we live together, everyday life has moved in with us. When I'm stressed from work, the desire for sex is sometimes not as great as it used to be. Then we masturbate together next to each other, or get it for each other. The thing is, if I do it myself, I'll get there safely and in a short amount of time. That sounds super unromantic now, but I mostly masturbate for practical reasons.

Also on

Never before and 33 years old - the hard way to the first partner

I mostly think of some scenarios that I have already experienced, be it with my boyfriend or past love affairs, if it was particularly nice. But I'm not telling my boyfriend that.

I can't do much with toys and porn. Dildos or vibrators are dead material for me. They are complicated, I have to clean them or refill batteries. I have not yet found access to porn either. Somehow I don't like watching strangers have sex.

Steffen, 28 years

My jerking behavior changes relatively extremely in a relationship because there is simply no longer any need. I'd say it's about 80 to 90 percent down. If I do it anyway, I prefer to be in bed with porn, rarely in the shower and mostly alone. Sometimes in pairs or with each other. My girlfriend and I talk about it a lot, but more like the weather, it doesn't really go into detail.

Lena, 28 years

Yes, when I have a boyfriend and we sleep together regularly, I masturbate less. But I never stopped completely. Regardless of whether you are single or not. I love it when my boyfriend and I get on with each other.

It doesn't change anything for me if I'm in a relationship or not. I make a complete distinction between sex and masturbation. The result may be the same, but the way there and the way you think about it are different. Masturbating can even be more honest, intimate, and authentic than sex at times. It's about knowing and understanding yourself. Maybe let out dark or forbidden thoughts that you cannot act out with your partner.